Now that I have entered into motherhood, I must say it’s something that I didn’t fully fathom beforehand. Not because I was not prepared. I’ve read internet articles, subscribed to websites, talked to fellow mommy friends… but like what we always say – It’s not the head knowledge that counts, but it’s the big word coming up experience.
I did read about postpartum blues or postnatal depression and that different mothers have varying degrees of such depression.
No, I do not have depression but I do feel kinda blue especially in the 1st week after the delivery.
1. Exhaustion. I felt tired from the 19-hour long labour that had happened. And honestly, my work and ministry are still on my mind. Maybe I should forget about all these for awhile… at least for now BUT I can’t help it! I also feel tired whenever Julien wakes up in the middle of the night. I should have treasured my sleep much much more before he came along!
2. Pain. Yes, I realized pain doesn’t just stop when the epidural and labor is over! I experienced pain from BF-ing (soreness, blisters and engorgement!) and from the stitches I’ve got straight after delivery. I couldn’t sit properly for about about 1.5 weeks after my delivery! It’s a terrible feeling! :(
3. Heat. All these coupled with the not-so-cool weather in SG! It’s worse when my body is already subjected to ‘postnatal heat’ and I am not supposed to be exposed to too much cool wind! Aarghhh…..!
4. New routines. Change diapers, wash then sterilize pumps/bottles, express milk, feed baby, soothe crying baby. All of these seems to happen in a 3-4 hourly cycle.
Sounds abit depressing huh? But honestly, I am not feeling THAT down. I made a decision during the last few weeks of my pregnancy that I would constantly remind myself to think positively no matter what. I believe that decision helped.
I also thank God for great mommy friends like Jiahui, Wen, San etc who had went ‘the way’ before and fully empathize with me, assure me and give me great advices!
And I must say strong family support is the KEY factor for me not sinking into the deep blue sea of depression. My mother-in-law is an AMAZING woman. She is helping me with the confinement. She cooks my confinement meals and even prepares separate meals for the family. In fact, she does almost EVERYTHING and I really feel she treats me like her own daughter, putting my best interests at heart. :)
And of course, my hubby. I don’t know how I can go through this post partum period without him. He was my Ms… I mean Mr Nurse in the hospital. Caring and looking after me, after bearing with me during labor. He stays up with me as much as he can, late into the night while we look after baby together and then goes off to work in the morning. Love you dear!
And for now, things are getting better as I begin to settle down. I realized how true the song 世上只有妈妈好，有妈的孩子象个宝 is。。。So I pray that I improve as a mother, enlarge my capacity and that J family is a happy, healthy family. Also not forgetting that Julien will be an easy-to-take-care-of baby. :)
I love my Julien no matter what!