How true... yet how it contradicts all that the world believes in...
As I was preparing this week's CG message, I was reminded that we grow in Him, when we sacrifice. And we got to sacrifice, with NO strings attached.
When I read,
"So when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, "It is finished!" And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit. "
, I realised, Jesus gave His ALL and without expectations. His seed died... it bore millions, billions of fruits to come.... But at that point of pain and suffering at the hands of the very people He created, loved and was to die for, He died without expecting.
Love your neighbour as Jesus loves u...
Well... can't qualify myself as Ms Martyr Lim... But I do believe in the power of that dead seed... Tried and tested. Been there, done that, took the photo and bought the mini-tee :))
If God would put me through it again, I will choose the same path again, if not better... No regrets!!!
NO TURNING BACK.
1 seed that I sowed that died... of course... is finding the right partner. I always, constantly thank God for Jared. I know he hates it when I blog about him. But... nevermind la...! =)
I remember before I came to church, I used to get attached a few times (<5...).>
When I came to church at 19, I had fell in like with a non-Christian (when I was a young young Christian.... young young...) and a half-past six Christian. Of cos there were someMORE infact-uations... But these 2.. not so good ones... I gave them up cos I felt they ... me... not in the centre of God's will. Dying of a seed.... again and again...
When I reached 22 ... I began to wonder if I was going the way of Paul. HAHA! But then, I didn't think I was that bad... was I?? Very thick-skinned thinking right? I would pray once in a while, when I remember, for God to send a godly man (plus good-looking can??) into my life. Someone who would run this race together with me and we would do greater things for the Lord together. Always prayed like that, for DEE 1.
And in November 2005, God answered my prayer with Mr Lim. And I thank God for him... He loves God, loves people especially LJB, has great desire AND ability to grow his CGs... Phew! Serious!.... PHEW!
(I personally feel Dee One need not be a cgl... but he must must have a desire to grow in God and he must love God and love people... then again... that would make him a leader right? Hmmm...)
I sometimes imagine what would happen if...
I got attached to someone...
Who always wants to take a break, not doing well, attitude problem, backslide??
Who can't hear from God so I would need to be to be his prophet?
Who becomes my cell group MEMBER??
Who loves me less and less each passing day as my white hairs and wrinkles and cellulite increase... (grossss........)?
Or half the time, I am wondering when he is going to file a divorce?
Can you imagine if I received a revelation and I can't share it with him?
Or if I come back late from ministry/work in church, I would get H.O. (Husband Objection)? Husband beating?? Husband cheating??
*Faint** Thank u Jesus for answering my prayers!!! Thank myself for making the RIGHT decision!!!
So, I do realise the importance... great great importance of finding the right partner. God loves us very very much. So when He says do not be unequally yoked... it's not to limit us, or hinder us or create a tribulation for us... It's to protect us...
Anyway.... Jared will be going up North for OOOONNNNNEEEEEE longest month... Leaving me lonely, lost, left behind.... Arh, whenst thou art coming backeth??
I got to go be da er long to
1. HDB 2. SAM 3. TW
and of course... the offline outings with him becomes online outings... aka skype conversations. Haiz... and I think my webcam got problem. I hope everything is solved by this Monday when he flies.... Anyway Pray for him!
OK gotta ciao... Tomorrow got to be at Meritus Mandarin at (*GULP*) 730AM... breakfast meeting with.... Ps Phil! Delirious! Don Moen! It's going to be an awesome FOP 2007!